Pool People, how I hate you

...let me count the ways.

Let me preface this by saying, that in general, I hate inconsiderate people. "Hate" is a pretty strong word, and I try to avoid using it, but in this case it's appropriate. I hate people that destroy the calm, disturb the peace, or just behave to annoy. This is probably my biggest hangup.

In this episode, we'll talk about Pool People. Pool People suck in so many ways. Since they don't know how to behave, I'm providing a few pointers here.

• I don't want to hear your boombox. Noone but you wants to hear your boombox. Have you ever heard of headphones? Use them.


• Oh great, you found an ashtray. Please, share your noxious exhalations with the rest of us. At least if you were drinking, you wouldn't be spitting it in everyone's faces.


• Leave your cellphone at home. Noone wants to hear your conversation, especially at 10X the normal conversation levels.


• Speaking of conversation levels, is there any reason two people can't carry on a conversation in tones that can't be overheard from the other side of the pool? Why are assholes so loud?


• Your ass is too fat to be wearing that. Seriously. So is your stomach. You're lucky there's no direct access to the Atlantic ocean from this pool. Otherwise some whalers would be harpooning your ass.


• I like to use the word "ass" a lot.



Generally, what do people have against quiet? Why are so many so compelled to be LOUD and obnoxious? We hates them, precious...